I apologize for the lack of posts from me lately. I have been going through an incredibly difficult time. As mentioned in my 'breaking up' post, Matt and I decided to part ways. We tried to live amicably and continue on our adventure together.
Before moving to Iqaluit, I was much more sure about the journey than Matthew was. Upon arriving I was much more taken by the land, the culture and even the work than he was. Iqaluit is not every ones cup of tea. It is isolating to live here, we lack a lot of the modern conveniences and amenities that are common down South. If you are a lover of shopping, you would not survive here.
Sadly, Matthew has decided that his adventure will end this month. He misses his friends very much and he wants to find a job that he is happy with. He is staying until March 31st and heading home after the months last pay check.
Dealing with him moving on has been hard for me. I do feel us parting is best for both of us but that doesn't mean it isn't painful. When he decided he was going home, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and winded. I felt instantly lost.
Between breaking up and finding out that I would soon be alone in the arctic, I felt depressed and lost and confused. I felt like the empty shell of the woman I once was and all I knew was tears and pain. I was so down that I began to feel bad for the people around me.
Today, the sun was shining and for some freeing reason, which I haven't discovered, I felt happiness. I have a new outlook on this situation.
The idea of Matt getting on an airplane and having to watch his plane fly away breaks my heart and makes me feel sick to my stomach. However, I want him to be happy and seeing his excitement about his return trip makes my pain feel a little less heavy.
For the first time in a month, I feel like I have something to look forward to, something to smile about and something to keep me going.
A few updates on my life...
-I am writing this blog from my brand new Dell Inspiron laptop (my first laptop)
-I have paid off every penny of debt that I had. My savings account is a hoarder
-The sun stays out until after dinner now and I cant see stars when I walk to work at 4:45am
-The temperature is climbing, today it is a warm -25 Celsius
-Roll up the rim is on at Tim's, and the excitement from the locals had me in stitches on day one. No big prizes yet, just donuts and coffee.
-I am turning 22 in six days, the birthday countdown is on. Since it will be a Sunday birthday, I plan on drinking it in on Saturday night and celebrating with the Frobisher's forty dollar brunch on Sunday morning. (Oh how I miss Denny's and cheap food)
-I will be on a flight home for vacation in 104 days
-My baby sister had her tonsils out last week. She still misses solid food.
Things are looking up in Iqaluit, probably because the sun is staying up later and I love it.