I slept until my heart’s content today. Bundled up, to keep the chill that creeps through my window from touching me. I wish everyday could be as simple as this day. That I could wake up, open the curtains and have the time to watch the world move. From my spot in bed I have a view of the mountain, directly in my line of vision is the cross perched on the top. I've had my eyes on the mountain from the moment the sun started to rise in the South. The peach, gold light brushed the top of the mountain and has been slowly working its way toward down town Iqaluit as the sun rises higher behind me.
These are my favourite things about Iqaluit. These are the things that I moved to Iqaluit to experience. Sun rises that take your breath away. Lights dancing in the sky while the City sleeps.
Every day I wish that my world could be this simple, peacefully inspiring.
You’re reading these posts correctly if you think I’m drowning in mixed emotions. Twenty one and I thought I had nothing to lose by leaving my life behind. I would only be gone a couple of years and I would use the time to discover my own heart, my dreams, my goals.
Conflict will find us where ever we go and I am the kind of person who is laid back enough to simply let answers find me. I thought that was inevitable.
Answers however cannot penetrate the barrier I’ve put up to keep myself from over thinking and over stressing. I’ve been told the grass isn’t always greener but it’s hard to believe when you feel as stuck as you can feel in Iqaluit. It’s hard not to imagine something better waiting for you on the other side of the mountains.
I keep telling myself to block the thoughts, go through the motions, live out the work day and go to bed. Forget your worries, forget your fears and watch the days fly by. Perhaps a solution like this would work for someone else.
I believe that life is far too short to wish the days away or to go through the motions without embrace. I never want to have a ‘one that got away’ or a day that should have been. I moved here to live, not to bury myself. I love until my heart might burst and dance until my feet are numb. I wear flowers in my hair and I sing all day long. As incredible as this experience has been, I find that I miss myself.
And so, I am back at square one.
Frozen, unmoved and longing for a flower to stick in my hair.